what can i say to a friend who lost a family member
People inquire united states of america this question fourth dimension and again: What should I say to someone who's grieving? They inquire hoping there is an like shooting fish in a barrel answer or checklist, but I have bad news, those things don't exist.
We recently asked WYG readers nigh the best and worst things anyone has said to them in their grief, hoping for some specific examples that nosotros might so exist able to offering equally guidance to all those seeking answers. And though they provided some amazing insight, things notwithstanding remain – well – complicated.
In fact, we establish that some of the EXACT Same PHRASES were listed on both the all-time and worst list. Arggg! Why is this then tricky?
Well, nosotros've said it before and we'll probably say it a million more times – What feels right and helpful for i person may be all incorrect for another. Also, timing can make all the difference, so you may just have the bad luck of picking the incorrect moment. Or, y'all might be the right person to say something to one friend or family fellow member, merely the wrong person to say it to another. Eleanor made a super graphic about this over in the post of the 64 Worst Things Ever Said to a Griever, so make certain you check that out if you missed information technology.
In case that isn't enough of a disclaimer, earlier nosotros dive into the listing of "best things," you can lookout man the video below for some of our simple tried and true tips. These won't necessarily guarantee that yous say the "right" thing, only they are a good place to offset.
As for those "best things" that we're shared with us – well – you'll meet that sometimes the items on this list aren't particularly specific. These suggestions are oftentimes full general statements or means of being.
Nosotros recollect this is worth noting considering people oftentimes fixate on having the "right" words to brand someone feel better, but frequently the best matter you can do has nothing to do with what you say, but how you maintain a supportive presence. So, without farther ado . . .
1."There are no words."
2. "I will travel to y'all and stay with you several days."
three. "You lot tin can talk to me virtually your mum whenever yous want – in 5, x, 30 years."
4. "Your grief-reactions are normal/appropriate."
5. "You aren't going crazy"
6. "Tell me more virtually your mother"
7. Someone gave me a very sincere compliment on how I've handled raising my kids every bit a single mother a few years after my husband died. Meant the world to me to hear it. It's a alone journey. I needed that heave.
8. "I'm just really sorry you've had to go through this." She kept her gaze into my eyes every bit I sobbed… It was so powerful just existence "witnessed."
ix. "Your Dad was a wonderful man."
10. "Learn to live in acceptance of the loss, not in spite of the loss."
xi. "She'due south just made a change of address"
12. "Grief has no expiration date."
thirteen. "It'due south okay to accept bad days because it reminds you how much you love them and the good days remind y'all they're right there with you."
xiv. "Simply talk almost your son whenever you feel like."
fifteen. " You don't have to talk. I volition just sit beside you."
16. My 81-year-old Begetter drove quite a altitude to simply sit with me and as he sat listening to me completely fall autonomously he reached over and put his arm effectually me and quietly said, "Please know this is only temporary. You will get to end raising him one day." Then he said, "I will get there before yous and I volition conduct your letters to him."
17. "We've asked your colleagues and they have donated enough paid time off for you to take the time you need."
18. "Nosotros were just talking about him last night."
xix. "We think him and speak of him oft."
20. "When you experience that she'southward with you lot, know that she actually is."
21. "She is never far abroad."
22. "Let me know if I can assist."
23. "I'm sorry for your loss."
24. When someone tells yous they are there for you, brings you flowers or comfort food, or your best friend comes over subsequently you've told her non to (because you didn't want to be a carp) because she knows you that well – those are the types of things that make a difference.
25. "I was really mad at God when I found out."
26. "It f#&king sucks."
27. "Nosotros won't forget him"
28. "He was such a special kid."
29. "I don't know what to say but I tin listen."
30. "He would be proud of you."
31. "I am praying for y'all and will always be."
32. "I love yous."
33. "Give thanks you for giving us the most beautiful, generous, loving person we've ever known."
34. "We loved her like she was one of the family."
35."You've been a good dad to them."
36. When my Mom passed, a good friend of mine looked me in the centre and, with such love and concern, said "I am worried nearly you. I think yous should consider grief therapy." I did then because of her genuine concern and courage to say that to me at the time
37. "One twenty-four hours you volition exist talking near Jessica and a grin volition come to your face first before a tear."
38. The best matter was from a chaplain who gave me permission to be mad every bit hell and instead of request 'Why me?' asking 'Why non me?'
39. My mom made me socks and a hat for my baby gone-too-soon in pregnancy. She said, "Every baby deserves to be historic, no affair how long they are with united states."
40. "A role of your loved one lives in y'all and all those he loved."
41. "Be as kind to yourself as y'all are to everyone else."
42. I received a card from a one-time higher classmate of my husband. In the carte, she wrote about how proud my husband had been of me and how happy I had made him. She wrote that every time their paths crossed over the years that he always spoke so highly of me. She was in awe of how proud he was to take me as his wife.
43. "Yous volition never get 'over it', simply you will get through information technology."
44. "I can encounter by these pictures how much you loved each other. She must have known every mean solar day she was loved."
45. "In that location is no correct or incorrect way to grieve. Your life has been changed forever."
46. "You're immune to feel and be exactly as yous are because this is your feel and no one else's."
47. "I wouldn't be alive today if your dad hadn't helped me become sober by giving me a reason to be sober."
48. The all-time thing is when someone says, "I retrieve…" and and then goes on to share a memory of the person you've lost.
49. "I cannot possibly understand how you feel. Merely I'm here".
fifty. When I told a friend my middle is broken she said, "I volition lend you lot mine til yours has mended."
51. "It'due south okay not to be okay."
52. "Look for signs. He will show you he is with you." [from another grieving mom]
53. "He/she is with you lot always, and is proud of you for the way you live your life."
54. I love when someone hears a song that reminds them of him and they achieve out to tell me!
55. "Come up rest a infinitesimal. Let's talk nearly and recollect all those sweet memories. Your dad was a smashing human being and male parent".
56. "Nosotros'll get through this together."
57. "Now y'all've got someone up there watching out for you."
58. "Information technology'due south okay to hurt. Don't hold back your tears."
59. "I accept no words, this but sucks."
60. "What the F*^k? How can this exist?"
61. "He was so loved and my life is improve because he was in it."
62. "Y'all are a adept mother and his decease with never change that"
63. "Yous are not moving on y'all are moving forrad."
64. The woman cleaning out my begetter'south admittedly vile condo, when I admitted how embarrassing I found the land of his living space and apologized to her said, "I don't judge. Everyone has unlike priorities. He was conspicuously a wonderful father who was deeply loved."
What would you add to the list of best things to say to someone grieving? Leave a annotate with the all-time matter someone said to you in your grief or a full general tip you accept about how to support someone grieving.
Source: https://whatsyourgrief.com/what-should-i-say-to-someone-grieving/
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